Marriage

8 Ways To Keep Your Marriage Fun

They say life is too short and in the grand spectrum of things, I agree. I also agree that we should make the most out of it. Live a happy life.

Right.

It is easier said than done. Life in general is a complex web of circumstances that sometimes make it so hard to be happy. Every aspect of life has its own dynamic but they are interconnected. One affects the other, that’s just how it is. And it is easier to let the domino effect play out- let one fall push the rest down.

We have numerous relationships that we have to maintain and nurture- relationship with spouse, children, parents, siblings, relatives, friends, coworkers, etc, etc and all of them are significant to live a happy and fulfilling life.

I was inspired to write a series of articles on each of them and what I think we all can do to keep these relations fun and healthy.

I want to start with the second most important relationship I have in my life is with my amazing husband, the first one being with my savior, The Lord Jesus Christ.

We don’t have a perfect marriage, I think it’s impossible to have one. But what’s possible is to have a happy marriage despite what crap life throws at us. We fight a lot but love always wins and as we go along, we grow and evolve. One of the things I think helps us get through life is making sure we have fun . Dennis and I do almost everything together not because we feel we have to but because we really enjoy each other’s company. It’s not forced and obligated but rather a choice we gladly make every time. For example. I thought I wanted to shop by myself and would go to the mall alone, later on I realized I don’t enjoy shopping without Dennis and Kaleb. Now, even if I have to rush buying things most of the time, it’s fine because it’s just better having them around when I shop.

So, here are the things I think makes my marriage fun and hopefully anyone reading can pick up something.

  1. Make love and be intimate. The trap in marriage and family life is for intimacy to be put off. And I know that because as we go through our daily life where a lot is always going on, sometimes we just don’t have the energy. But, without being graphic, Dennis and I make sure we have time even if it means we stay up late. This is not everyday (I wish) but we make ourselves aware of how long we put it off. The main thing though is you need to want it and not make it obligatory. Want your husband or your wife physically. Nurture that sensual desire for your spouse. Touch each other inappropriately to communicate how much you want him/her. Talk about expectations in bed and be mindful of each other’s pleasure. This is vital.

  2. Use some cheese. Don’t be afraid to be cheesy with your spouse because truth be told, they are the only person you should be romantically cheesy with. I usually initiate the cheesiness and Dennis responds with the same intensity. I love my husband and I want him to know it everyday. I send him texts like “I love you handsome” in the middle of our busy day. He is more of the action kind of guy and some may find this annoying but he likes to snap my bra string all the time. I was irritated by it at first but he said it’s his way of showing affection and I’m all good with it now even if I still don’t see why . Don’t be stingy with compliments and sweetness when it comes to your spouse but make sure it’s real and not role-playing.

  3. Have some sake. I like to drink and Dennis does too and we made drinking together as one way to bond. Sake night is becoming our thing now as he introduces me to different kinds of sake. We choose a movie to watch and as soon as Kaleb falls asleep, we take our spread out and watch a movie together while taking shots. It doesn’t have to be alcohol, it could be anything that the two of you can do, enjoy and discover. Just so happens, we like to drink. We use that time to talk about anything or not and just sit beside each other.

  4. Binge watch a show. We love watching shows in Prime and Netflix and we are in constant search for something new and interesting to watch. We have our own tastes- my husband likes crappy comedies and appreciates Filipino movies while I like my political dramas. But we make it a point to find shows we both like. 90 Day Fiance is one of them and we look forward to weekly episode. We’re waiting for Jack Ryan season 2 after binging on season 1 in one weekend. And we are not allowed to watch “our shows” without the other. The point is, make this your thing where you can bond and talk about.

  5. Tease and laugh at each other. We make fun of each other, Dennis and I but within the bounds of respect and never in front of other people where either of us can be embarassed. Being able to tease each other and laugh at each other breaks down walls between couples. To me, it is a sign of acceptance of each other. This takes time and investment specially for us because we only started living together a year ago and the rest of the time of our relationship we were 5000 miles apart.

  6. Flirt with each other. This is different with cheesiness because this is more physical and sensual. We find little window of time to display affection publicly or not. I feel giddy when Dennis holds my hand in public, why? I have no idea, what I do know is I like it and it makes me feel special. However, in public, touch each other within the boundaries of decency. This kind of intimacy strengthens relationship at it helps both husband and wife become attuned with each other.

  7. Play a game. When I was still in the Philippines, Dennis and I started playing Words with Friends and continued until I got here in Hawaii. These days we both play Tsum Tsum. It’s childish but it’s fun and a little competition is healthy.

  8. Date your spouse
    . For us, date day come by rarely because we need someone to look after him for a few hours. My mother in law is generous and helpful when it comes to Kaleb but we don’t want to impose on her. Despite that, we make it a point to date no matter now infrequent. What’s important is that we look forward to each date day whenever it may be. And when we do go out on a date, we keep it simple- a new restaurant to try, a movie and coffee. What’s important is we enjoy the company.

    . For us, date day come by rarely because we need someone to look after him for a few hours. My mother in law is generous and helpful when it comes to Kaleb but we don’t want to impose on her. Despite that, we make it a point to date no matter now infrequent. What’s important is that we look forward to each date day whenever it may be. And when we do go out on a date, we keep it simple- a new restaurant to try, a movie and coffee. What’s important is we enjoy the company.

There are a lot of other stuff couples can do apart from my list and Dennis and I are constantly discovering activities we can do together. Just remember that the goal is for your relationship as man and wife to flourish. The things we do together helps us deal with our daily struggles, learn things about each other and love each other even more.

I see couples who couldn’t stand their spouses and choose to do everything separately. They think that’s the way to go but it isn’t. Growing your relationship is a process that requires a lot even if you are with the right person.

Let not your marriage and your spouse bore you. Work together to find that happy place in relationship.

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